Margaret Kirk RIP – “She has done all things well” – 17 October 2023
Editor’s note: I have been given permission to reproduce the text of the eulogy given at Margaret’s funeral on 23 November 2023; with many thanks.
Reflections on a Life well spent.
Tuesday 2nd July 1940, unknown to people at the time, was destined to become a very important day in the lives of many more people over the ensuing years.
I’m sure that you have already guessed that on this day a little girl named Margaret was born to parents Arthur and Winifred Middleton, in Sutton-in-Ashfield. Her early life was not without its difficulties, particularly as she contracted Meningitis and spent several weeks in the Children’s Hospital in Nottingham, where there was uncertainty as to her chances of survival.
One consequence of this experience led to Margaret having a rather poor appetite. To encourage her to eat, her worried mother on one occasion gave her some bread and jam and was overjoyed when Margaret returned for more. When she returned for a third time, her mother became curious and found to her surprise that Margaret had found a friend with whom she could share her sandwich, by posting it through the hedge to the little boy next door. This simple example of her selfless concern for others was to be an indicator of the values carried throughout her life.
Margaret’s parents were not affluent but were hard-working, prudent and quite self-reliant. Her Father was a shoemaker with the Coop and her Mother worked as Confectioner with Foxes Bakery in Mansfield. They both supplemented their earnings by using their special skills to serve their neighbours and friends. Margaret herself followed their example in later years by employing her varied sporting and musical talents for the benefit of many other people and organisations and also by sharing her faith in a most natural way.
During her early school years, Margaret developed an interest in music and commenced piano lessons with Frederick Walker. She progressed quickly through the grades and participated successfully in many of the local Music Festivals developing a healthy rivalry with one of her school colleagues. Before long she was helping to teach Music Theory to the younger pupils.
Margaret attended the Queen Elizabeth Grammar School for Girls in Mansfield and developed in both academic and sporting activities. Her musical skills were put to good use in school performances, and she became a very valuable member of the school hockey team. Later, her position as Deputy Head Girl was an indication of her standing with her peers.
In the last two years of her schooling, another distraction appeared in her life, in the form of a young man who attended the Queen Elizabeth Grammar School for Boys. This relationship gradually blossomed, was sustained through many tests and trials and came to fruition in their marriage in August of 1965.
58 years later, at the age of 83 and after a full and active life, God decided to call Margaret to himself; 83 years which, with God’s help, Margaret used to wonderful effect; influencing and touching the lives of so very many people of all ages and backgrounds, in so many ways. Here thanks are due to the nurses and carers who shared their love and concern for Margaret in her last days, in particular Marie and Dawn, but many others too.
After a full university experience, where Margaret played a major part in the University Ladies Hockey Team, she graduated from The University of Hull in 1962, with a degree in Music and History with ancillary French.
Margaret then began her teaching career at the Secondary School in Huthwaite under Headteacher Claude Richardson. His wartime exploits were the source of many a tale in the staff room. This period brought her into contact with young pupils of relatively poor and underprivileged families who lived a very insular life in this mining community.
Margaret developed the School Choir, taking part in the Mansfield Music Festival and directed operatic performances by the children. She shared her own sporting talents by coaching netball and hockey teams and led the School’s first educational trip abroad, to Holland.
One of her initiatives involved getting the children to bring their pets to school for a special project. Margaret had, however, not bargained on the daughter of the local Scrap metal dealer bringing her horse, which clearly could not be brought into the classroom and posed some very distinct logistical and hygiene problems!
In 1964 Margaret moved to take up a post at St Bede’s Catholic Secondary School in Mansfield, under the Headship of Mr Bob Gray, a Scotsman with a charming and very individual character. Margaret taught at this school throughout the remaining period of her career, retiring in 2000 after 38 years of teaching.
During her time at St Bede’s, she saw the school become a Middle School with the Headship being taken over by John Carr and then transformed again to a Junior School, when Margaret became Deputy Head until her retirement.
Throughout this time Margaret established a reputation as a well-liked and effective teacher, always fair, but with quiet discipline. She was always available to her pupils and concerned for their well-being. Her faith was lived daily through her work and in the relationships, she developed with both staff and pupils.
Music was her primary interest, followed closely by her Hockey. Margaret developed the girls’ interest in Hockey through the formation of school teams and by encouraging several of them to play for club teams, such as the Mansfield Ladies Team. Indeed, for many years, this team included one of the pupils from her early Huthwaite teaching days.
Margaret was a valuable team member, playing as team captain and centre forward for many years, with her name appearing regularly as the leading goal scorer in newspaper match reports. Margaret was however always quick to point out that it was the team behind her which made it all possible and so ensured that the success was shared.
Margaret will be remembered especially for her music. She stimulated an interest in music for many young people and was especially known for her ability to generate remarkable results with the choirs she formed. Mansfield Music Festival always had a choir from St Bede’s, sometimes two, sometimes three, or four or, indeed, on one occasion eight! Margaret thrived on hard work and on a challenge.
In addition to these very visible activities, Margaret also played a major role in teaching and developing the Faith of the children, particularly through her example but also through her clear and reliable presentation of the teaching of
the Church. Margaret saw her vocation clearly as a call to strive for holiness through her ordinary work and by her example and personal relationships to help others come closer to God themselves.
In 1994 Margaret received the Diocesan Medal and, in 2000, the Papal Bene Merenti for her work in Teaching, but never ever drew attention to this and always played it down if ever it was referred to.
Margaret did not waste a minute of her time. It was always being used to the full. In her early life, she taught piano privately at home, and also at the County Music School under the Directorship of Michael Neaum. Margaret also gained her Associate Membership of the Royal College of Music.
After returning from University, she took over as Organist and leader of the choir at the Church of Joseph the Worker in Sutton and only retired from that position 50 years later when she suffered her fractured spine in 2017 and the onset of Dementia
Many people will remember Margaret as the organist at their Wedding. Many more people and many generations of people will remember Margaret as that lady who helped them with the instructions and preparations for the Baptism of their children, their preparation for First Holy Communion and Confirmation, instructions and preparation for Marriage, assistance with arrangements for Funerals and Music for the Requiem Mass.
Several Parish Priests will certainly have cause to remember Margaret for the unswerving support which she provided and which she prioritised in her life.
Margaret was an active and founding member of the local Life Group in Mansfield and helped to provide confidential support to young girls and women who approached them for support and advice.
In her spare time, Margaret was also an active member of several social groups and voluntary associations, including the West Ashfield Inner Wheel Club and, locally, the Ladies 21 Club. For many years Margaret accompanied the District Inner Wheel Choir and performed at Rallies and Conferences around the Country.
Behind all of this, we cannot forget that Margaret also took on the role of Extraordinary Mother to Andrew and David when their parents sadly died in 1972. This role provided Margaret with a real understanding of what it means to be a Parent and the responsibilities that it entails. She would always say that they were a wonderful blessing from God, and their presence here today is testimony to that.
For many years, Margaret was blessed by the close friendship which she formed with Linda John and together they provided a most effective team of Catechists but also provided active friendship and support to many people.
All of you here today have come to honour Margaret and to remember her for the special part, that she has played in your life. In summary, we could say “Bene omnia fecit” – she has done all things well: Margaret herself would say that as God’s faithful servant, she was only doing her duty.
We thank God for calling her to serve so many people with deep love and selfless commitment and pray that He will reward her with everlasting peace and joy.
